When Leaders Don’t Have to Walk Alone: How Coaching Helped Me Navigate Stress and Grief
A CEO’s Self-Awareness and Transformation Story
Do we really need to hold it all together alone?
As the CEO of a foundation and a church pastor, I have long been in a role that requires me to make quick decisions, lead teams, and counsel others. The pace of life and responsibilities gradually turned my behavioural pattern into instinctive reactions — always charging forward, always shouldering the load, never stopping. It felt like an old locomotive pushing forward despite experiencing pressure and fatigue.
A Turning Point for the Soul
Yet in God’s mercy, He prepared a turning point for me — I met a coach.
I realised that a coach is not someone who hands out answers but a dialogue partner skilled in guiding. Those seemingly simple conversations carried tremendous power: they helped me see myself more deeply, rethink the situations I faced, and — more importantly — inspire greater self-awareness. They also helped me understand my reactions and inner dynamics under pressure.
“These insights helped me through a difficult season. They enabled me to face leadership challenges with a calmer and rational mindset and make more effective decisions.”
Rev. Esther Pan
CEO, Family of Joy Social Welfare Foundation
A Companion in Grief and Chaos
Earlier this year, my mother passed away. The suddenness of that grief brought my judgment and counselling skills, which I used to pride myself on, to a paralysis. My emotions were going through a roller coaster ride. I could not comprehend all my feelings, and everything felt unfamiliar. Worse still, the daily work pressure left me physically and mentally exhausted.
Yet with the help of my coach, I had the chance to stop and take a deep breath. His thoughtful questions stimulated my reflections and helped me explore my inner being. It wasn’t the miracle of a single conversation but a process. This journey led me to uncover the roots amid chaos and find a way out from under the pressure.
Re-establishing the Inner Dialogue, Regaining Leadership Strength
Through my coach’s professional guidance, I re-established my ability to dialogue with myself. I began to recognise my stress reactions, understand the messages behind my emotions, and notice inner needs and limitations that I had long neglected. These insights helped me through a difficult season. They enabled me to face leadership challenges with a calmer and rational mindset and make more effective decisions.
A Word to Every Leader
Today, I’m not just sharing my transformation, but I want to say to every leader:
We do not always have to carry everything alone. Choosing to accept guidance, enter into dialogue, and embrace self-awareness is an act of courage we can all choose.